That’s How G-d Made Them

I was walking outside with my children when we spotted these two pigeons on top of a store. They were resting, so they were puffed up. Now, they know that male pigeons puff out their chests to make themselves look bigger and more important, so my six-year-old thought that these are both males. The conversation went like this: (I will call my Six-year-old “S” and my Eight-year-old “E.”)

S: Oh, look. Two Daddy pigeons. Maybe they made a nest together.
E: Maybe. Or maybe they are just friends.
S: But they were sitting together near a nest! Maybe instead of finding Mommy pigeons to make nests with, they found each other.
E: But they can’t lay eggs. What are they going to do?
Me: Did you know that in a zoo, there are two boy penguins that wanted to make a family? Every season when the other families built nests, they did, too. But every year, they were sad because the other families laid eggs and had babies, but they didn’t. Then, after six years, the zoo keepers gave them an egg to raise, and they’re very happy right now.
E: Where did they get the egg?
Me: Maybe one mother penguin laid two eggs and it was hard for her and the Daddy to take care of both.
E: So after the egg hatches, they will give the chick back to the mother?
Me: No, the two father penguins will raise it.
S: So maybe that’s what happened with those pigeons we saw. Maybe they will find an egg.
E: But why? Why did the penguins make a family together instead of finding Mommy penguins? I guess that’s what they chose…
Me: I don’t think they chose it. When it’s time to make a family, animals go and do what they feel is right. They don’t have to think about it or choose it. They just do what G-d made them to do. It’s called instinct.
S: [passionately] That’s right! Everything G-d does is GOOD. If he made these two boy birds want to make a family, then that’s good. If they would make a family with girl birds, that would be BAD because it’s not what G-d wants!

You can’t imagine how proud I was. I had never spoken to my kids about sexual orientation, about how sometimes two men or two women can make a family. But the purity of my child’s statement touched my heart. If this is how they were created by G-d, making them go against it is going against G-d’s will.

Posted in Tots | 2 Comments

Can Everybody be a Kohen Gadol?

Here I am back at the computer after a three-day Shavuos break. It was nice. Hot. We ate, napped, visited friends, and I got to catch up on some reading.

I was reading through a Jewish children’s magazine, Aim, when I came upon the following story. Thank you to my friend who scanned it for me!

(To those unfamiliar with the terms and customs, Shavuos is a holiday which celebrates the Torah being given to the Jews. The men stay up all night learning Torah. It is customary to eat dairy on this holiday, hence the obsession with cheesecakes. Bais HaMikdash is the Holy Temple that stood in Jerusalem thousands of years ago, and the Kohen Gadol is the High Priest that served there. His job was considered the holiest work one can do.)

On to the story: (Click to enlarge)

My initial reaction was – wow, they broached this topic? That there may be girls that aren’t interested in getting married and spending their lives in the kitchen. Then my skepticism kicked in and I said to myself that there is no way this could end the way that would make me happy. There are going to be apologetics.

And I was right. Although Miriam in the story didn’t accept the teacher’s explanation right away (bonus points), eventually she did. But will she ever be happy in that role? How does knowing that she is doing a job that is likened to the holiest and most important job in the Jewish religion make it any easier for her to conform herself to it? Not everyone can , or should, be a Kohen Gadol. And another question that arises: Why aren’t men encouraged to perform the most important job of cooking and cleaning so they can emulate the holiest job, which was in fact, held by a man?


Posted in In Jewish Print | 4 Comments

Stupid. Now in Technicolor! Get Yours Today!

We sure have progressed much in the last half a century, haven’t we? I mean, we went from black-and-white film to color film and then to digital photography! Amazing, isn’t it?

But as an Orthodox Jew, I take issue with their signs. They’re 100% against the bible/Torah. Since when is marriage one man and ONE woman? Why don’t they make a sign quoting the verse that says that? Will make them sound more legitimate.

But that’s what’s so great about religion is it not? You can pick and choose what suits you and your agenda and discard the rest. Oh, is it not so? That’s what I also thought. But seems I have been proven wrong.
Men having sex with boys? That’s okay!!! <insert thumbs up icon here> Bible? What bible?
Consenting adults having sex with other consenting adults? ZOMG BIBLE!!

See? Simple! I’ve seen a quote floating around the internet that says, “I don’t have anything against G-d; it’s His fan club I can’t stand.” And I think I finally understand it.

How does anyone have the right to tell an entire country that they must follow their religion? ESPECIALLY if they don’t follow it themselves (because sex between two males is wrong, unless one of them is under the age of consent. Then it’s okay, according to what I see in the news all the time)

But I think I figured out why some people think the whole country must follow their religion: If they can’t be happy, why should anyone else be? Am I right?

It’s this type of disgusting behavior that has me evaluating my religion from the bottom up. A lot of what I was taught as wrong is really not wrong at all. It’s just “not done.” Not that there is no benefit to fitting in, doing things only because they are “done.” It’s fine to build up a community based on similarities. But when the lines between religion and society start to blur, something needs to change. I am not abandoning the religion I hold true just because I choose not to wear the local “uniform.” I am trying to live my life properly, according to the Torah, and I haven’t come across any commandment that required hatred, bigotry, and/or stupidity.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments


I feel like I am obligated to mention something about the president’s announcement last week. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal until my Facebook newsfeed exploded with singing, dancing and cheering. It reminded me of the time when same-sex marriage was legalized in New York.  But I don’t understand how these two events can even compare.

Amidst all the excitement, I did come across people who were kinda :/ about it all. So I’m not the only crazy one who isn’t dancing in the streets.

I don’t understand what there is to cheer about. Did anything change? No. Will anything change? Maybe, but not likely. Calculated political moves just don’t make me all that excited for some reason.

Obama Evolves © Gary Varvel,The Indianapolis Star News,obama,gay,marriage,evolve,man,woman,equality

Then I read a bit more about it, and discovered that states will still have the right to determine same-sex marriage laws. Why’s that?

The most reasonable response that I have come across so far:

Mr. Barack Obama,
Now that you have clarified your position on an issue that seems to be important to you, how about clarifying your position on a few others which are, in my mind, much more important.
1) What are you doing to help prevent LGBT people from being fired for simply being LGBT?
2) What are you doing to curb bullying and harassment of LGBT students (or any bullying) in schools?
3) What is your program to end LGBT teen homelessness (and teen homelessness in general)?
4) What steps are you taking to prevent LGBT teen suicide?
Let me know when you have a minute to sit down and we’ll chat about it on national television. We have a right to know.
Yaakov Reef

I hope that after the cheering dies down, more people realize that this is what we need to hear.

I have never been an Obama supporter; this is just about the only thing I agree with him about. Is it enough to make me want to vote for him? No, not at all. The only thing that would get me to vote for him is the intense desire to keep his competition out of the White House.

The way I see it:

Voting for Candidates © Steve kelley,The New Orleans Times, Picayune,voting,candidates,obama,romney,polls,voters,election

Posted in News | 3 Comments

Punch Your Children if They Don’t Conform to Fabricated Gender Roles

I recently came across this video, where a pastor urges parents to be violent toward children who engage in activities other than those prescribed for their gender by the society of the last several decades.

Read about it here.

Now, there are some obvious issues with this, and some less obvious ones (though no less important.)

This wacko advocates punching children and cracking their bones when they don’t act the way he expects them to.

This is the obvious one. What kind of language is this? He’s not telling parents to give a potch on the tuches. He’s using disturbing words like “punch,” “squash,” and “crack.” Notice how he doesn’t suggest physical violence against a butch girl. What, you scared of what she’ll do to you? Wimp. No children should live in fear of abuse. Period. End of conversation.

Even if he wasn’t advocating violence, just telling parents to steer their children away from “gay” behavior is wrong.

People are either gay or they are not. (And of course, everything in between.) But whatever they are, they are. Putting hairbows in his hair will not make a boy gay and playing with a tool set will not make a girl gay. Although forcing a boy to “man up” when he is hurt or making a girl wear frilly dresses against her will might.

Just kidding. 🙂  A gay child will grow up to be a gay adult, regardless of what he/she is forced to do or forbidden from doing. The only casualty is the quality of childhood, which is something that parents should seriously consider.

Despite what he thinks, he isn’t even telling the parents to discourage gay behavior.

The parents are supposed to be beating their kids up for engaging in behaviors of the opposite gender.

So for boys, that would mean:

*preferring the color pink (it’s only been half a century that it was a ‘girly’ color in America. Until then it was considered a boyish color),

*playing with dolls (because the best type of dad is one that neglects his children. Heyyy, the pastor was urging the dads to monitor their children. Is he encouraging them to act gay??)

*caring about one’s looks (because this is what a real man should look like) :

*wearing dresses,

Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1884

And for girls, engaging in behaviors of the opposite gender would mean:

Um, according to him- talking like a boy, walking like a boy, smelling like a boy. (I have children of either gender, and they all smell the same to me!)

Girls should look like girls.

Queen Christina of Sweden is a perfect example, right? Except that she wore men’s clothes. No butch today would be caught dead in men’s clothes like these.

Gender roles are made up. The rules change every couple of years. A hundred years ago, all kids wore dresses until a certain age. Boys wore pink and girls wore blue. Both genders wore frilly bonnets. For thousands of years, men and women wore loose robes. Every stereotypical boy thing used to be a stereotypical girl thing at one point in history, and vice versa. A child of four can’t sort out thousands of years’ worth of fashion and behavioral evolution. Kids do what comes naturally to them, and the lucky ones don’t get squashed like a cockroach when they explore their world and their lives.

Posted in Movie Time, Tots | 1 Comment

Tell it Like it is

Sometimes, all you need is a cute little girl to perfectly convey everything you’ve wanted to say on the matter.

Posted in Movie Time, Tots | Leave a comment

I Figured, Why Not?

On a whim, I ordered a tie. I figured, why not? And then I figured… why only one? Heh heh.

On day one, I wore it over a t-shirt with a hoodie over it. I zipped the hoodie up and down as necessary. “As necessary” meaning whether or not anyone I knew was around me, and whether I found myself in my neighborhood or out of it.

Necklace and tie… one rockin’ look there. Don’t be jealous.

The next time I wore it a bit more “traditional,” if one can use that word in this context. 😀 I spent most of the day out of my neighborhood, and felt comfortable this way.


And at home: (My kids have noticed. My husband hasn’t. Go figure.)

I may have to play around with the knot proportions a bit. But it only took me two times of referring to an online diagram to learn. Now I can do it one-two-three.


Erm. What’s this? When they say the longer side should start out one foot longer than the shorter one, they aren’t kidding. Oof.


Done laughing? Well, get ready to start again. My little son saw the ties where I hung them and said, “Here are your leashes, Mama.”

The most ironic part of all this?

The men in my immediate community don’t even wear ties. Hahaha!

I’m not sure if this will become a regular part of my wardrobe or not. I’m still in the early stage of feeling things out. But putting them on reminded me of something. In high school we had a teacher who would always wear such creative ties. He taught chemistry, so often he would wear a tie with a chemistry related print. Other times he’d sport cartoon characters or bubbles or something equally imaginative. I used to think about the designs I’d choose if I had the opportunity. And now, here we go.

Posted in Haberdashery | 11 Comments