I Figured, Why Not?

On a whim, I ordered a tie. I figured, why not? And then I figured… why only one? Heh heh.

On day one, I wore it over a t-shirt with a hoodie over it. I zipped the hoodie up and down as necessary. “As necessary” meaning whether or not anyone I knew was around me, and whether I found myself in my neighborhood or out of it.

Necklace and tie… one rockin’ look there. Don’t be jealous.

The next time I wore it a bit more “traditional,” if one can use that word in this context. πŸ˜€ I spent most of the day out of my neighborhood, and felt comfortable this way.


And at home: (My kids have noticed. My husband hasn’t. Go figure.)

I may have to play around with the knot proportions a bit. But it only took me two times of referring to an online diagram to learn. Now I can do it one-two-three.


Erm. What’s this? When they say the longer side should start out one foot longer than the shorter one, they aren’t kidding. Oof.


Done laughing? Well, get ready to start again. My little son saw the ties where I hung them and said, “Here are your leashes, Mama.”

The most ironic part of all this?

The men in my immediate community don’t even wear ties. Hahaha!

I’m not sure if this will become a regular part of my wardrobe or not. I’m still in the early stage of feeling things out. But putting them on reminded me of something. In high school we had a teacher who would always wear such creative ties. He taught chemistry, so often he would wear a tie with a chemistry related print. Other times he’d sport cartoon characters or bubbles or something equally imaginative. I used to think about the designs I’d choose if I had the opportunity. And now, here we go.


About Sim

Learning how to merge my two very different lives.
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11 Responses to I Figured, Why Not?

  1. meridith says:

    They look great!

  2. Anonymous says:

    Um, don’t take this wrong, Glicksy. I mean, I’m all very tolerant and all. I may be even a little bi myself (or maybe more than just a little LOL). And I surely am from the same community (at least socially) as you. But methinks you are too obsessed with the whole clothing/gender thing. Maybe you just oughta let it go and do whatever…..

    • Sim says:

      Thanks for your comment! I appreciate your point of view. I don’t think this has anything to do with being gay or bi (not much, at least.) I know lesbians who dress much more feminine than me, and some of my friends who aren’t gay dress more butch than me.
      This has always been my preferred style, way before I knew I was gay. It’s not like I said to myself, “Okay, let’s wear the uniform now!” I don’t even consider that masculine. It’s kinda impossible to look ‘butch’ in a skirt and tichel. πŸ˜‰
      Yes, I am kinda obsessed right now, I must admit. I’ve had this all in my head my entire LIFE, not knowing why I think and feel so differently from all other girls/women. Now I have a safe place to talk about it, and so I do! As for what I choose to wear, I did mention that I will likely not incorporate everything I try into my everyday wardrobe, but I need to experiment and find my place. And for the first time, I am happy about what I wear, feel excited to go shopping, and feel like MYSELF. I guess I am just letting go and doing whatever. πŸ˜‰ I’ll take you up on that suggestion.

    • meridith says:

      It *is* really exciting to explore identity in outward facing ways. I constantly consider my appearance despite presenting completely as an average woman wearing average women’s clothing. I remember the first year of coming out to others as being very intense as I considered what that might mean for my hair and my clothes and my shoes and my skin and so forth. I know that my partner still discusses it and she’s been out and considering men’s clothing is different ways for almost 20 years. It’ll probably abate eventually, but I think we’re really fortunate to be able to have a public sounding board for things like this. Also, I love your pics!

      • Sim says:

        Thank you! Yes, it’s exciting, and yes, I will fall into my “golden middle” eventually. Like a paper, having been bent one way all this time, I have to bend myself the opposite way to even out the crease. πŸ™‚

  3. Janice says:

    Lovely ties. It’s funny how something so seemingly small can have meaning. I mean, putting on a necklace, scarf or tie can really say something about who we are and what we’re trying to say. I don’t dress up very often (jeans and casual shirts, usually, along with ill-fitting bras) but do notice ties on people — if they bring out eye color or hair color, if the design shows a whimsical side. Maybe that can be the next part of your experiment with “leashes” (love that) — choosing those designs they have where, no matter how tiny, some little statement is given about your personality.

    • Sim says:

      That’s what I had wanted to do ever since I was 16 and saw all those amazing ties my teacher wore. But I’m still too chicken to get any attention-grabbing ones. Maybe some day.

      • h says:

        ooo, nice ties…! i personally adore ties, recently picked up a red knit tie that literally gets me comments every time i wear it. Learning how you want to dress to go with how you identify is so much fun and can definitely become a bit consuming. but, for sure keep on experimenting and sporting those studly ties!

  4. Mundy says:

    I wonder if ties fall under the category of beged ish.?
    Honestly, if u walk out with a tie in ur community, the locals will just think it’s a style. or that youre weird. or both. πŸ˜€

    • Sim says:

      It’s not beged ish because men in my community don’t wear ties. πŸ˜‰ When I wear it, I only show the knot and about 3 more inches. It’s not in-your-face.

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